Miscommunication: The Language Of The Unhealed

Miscommunication: (n.) failure to communicate clearly. (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/miscommunication)

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 139:23-24

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

“A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a trustworthy envoy brings healing.” – Proverbs 13:17

“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

For awhile now I have been sitting back and watching the church – and the world, for that matter, very carefully. It seems the new trend in the church is to sweep various issues under the rug. We know the major issues it tries to pretend aren’t there, but are you aware that one of the biggest issues getting swept under the rug today pertains to healing – and it affects virtually every area of spiritual life a person may have? It can even affect your practical, everyday life and everyday interactions with other people. It leads to severe miscommunication…and a number of other things. It’s called: NOT BEING HEALED.

In ancient times, the people who were in need of healing were obvious about their state of being. There was none of the varied sub-headings of healing that we have today: people were either sick or they were well. Little ailments here and there were not the issue we make them today. As people in those times lived with the constraints of physically hard labor, beatings, slavery, and the like, little aches and pains were just a part of life that people lived with. If someone was seriously ill, everyone knew about it. Medicine was primitive and people lived with ailments. They might have attempted to treat symptoms, but people who were sick lived with being sick. They lived without hope of healing and often relied on superstitious methods or urban myths to try and resolve the discomfort or pain they were in. They knew that medicine treats, but God heals. Given that there was no hope for their healing, healthy people also lived in fear of sick people. They didn’t understand how diseases passed between people and were afraid of even the most nominal contact. Disease and illness meant people couldn’t work, thereby making them a burden on their families or subjecting them to isolation (usually the case), forcing them to become poor beggars. Being ill, therefore, was considered a defect and an issue of reproach.

2,000 years ago, people WANTED to be healed. Being healed meant they had a chance at a normal life, and that healing would remove reproach or shame. These people KNEW God was their only hope and only promise of true restoration. They KNEW the doctor couldn’t heal them. That is why Jesus’ interaction with the sick is so essential. He didn’t play mind reader games with them or try to play “guess what’s wrong with this person.” He didn’t assume somebody needed healing because they were coarse or rude to someone else. He likewise didn’t make excuses for people and their behavior. What was is what was, and the rest…came from there.

If we fast-forward to today, we approach the issues of healing and illness very differently. Today, being unhealed, angry, venomous, and bitter – and acting like it – is cause to get a “crazy check” (taking resources away from those who genuinely need it – but that’s for another day). People who are otherwise healthy claim mystical emotional problems as legitimate illnesses and live off the governmental system. There are many people today who don’t want to be healed because it gives them license for pity, attention, even control over others in their lives. There are still those who use not being healed to justify themselves, their positions on matters, and their attitudes toward others. They want to walk around angry and use lack of healing or being hurt as an excuse to do whatever they please.

The Lord is causing me to step back and look at this situation and ask, what would Jesus do? Jesus would NOT tell someone it is acceptable to hurt another person because you have been hurt. He would not excuse sin because somebody else had been hurt in their lives….yet that is what we are doing in today’s church. In the church today we give the message that it’s acceptable to hurt others because we’ve been hurt. We walk around, chanting, “Hurting people hurt people.” I don’t think the intention is to grant permission or license, but I do believe that because of the wording used, a message is being sent to people who are hurt. The message is: if you are hurt, you are going to hurt other people. Leaders are speaking something over hurting people, and it is causing a pervasive spirit to prevail. It’s something we just accept and tolerate, and in the process, walk on a very dangerous ground.

The modern thing to do is “blame everybody.” If you are hurt, I have to accept responsibility for that hurt, and “prove,” according to a personal standard, that I am not going to “hurt” you in that way. For example, I posted a status about finances on here about a week ago and got a variety of responses. One of the most common responses as justification to NOT give to the man or woman of God who does right is the fact that “people are tired of so many leaders who just steal people’s money.” I totally agree that it is wrong for a leader to try and swindle money from others. I think that when somebody does that, it’s appalling. I also feel that if you got taken for that ride, you should have known better because God told you to “be on your guard, I told you all these things ahead of time” and that just because somebody else stole from you, it is NOT an excuse for you to NOT sow into the ministry or life of a proper leader of God. That’s just an excuse – and that’s you being hurt and expecting that other leader to take responsibility for what somebody else did. If a false leader using a title has hurt you, I can’t be responsible for that. But what I can do if you tell me what’s going on is pray with you and talk to you and believe God for your restoration and SHOW YOU what a true leader looks like. Instead of expecting people to go to the Lord for their healing, we are expecting people to make what somebody else did better, or different, or prove that nobody else will hurt them in that way again – and this isn’t healing, it’s masking hurt with miscommunication.

I have noted the intensity with which people do not communicate well in our modern times. I believe we aren’t communicating well because people are always having different conversations with one another. Where one person voices a general opinion, someone else automatically thinks it’s something personal geared at them. We are easily offended because we aren’t on the same page, able to put ourselves aside long enough to recognize not everything in the world is about us. In order for healing to take place, we need to communicate effectively with one another. The individual who is hurt needs to acknowledge such and step up and admit they need healing, and the minister of God needs to communicate God’s healing to that individual. Those in the Bible obviously needed healing – they didn’t bring the issue up via some other method or means. They didn’t expect Jesus to just know what was wrong without evidence. The same is true today. I may have a gift of healing, I may even have a prophetic gift – but I can’t restore that which I don’t understand. If you come to me and tell me you are having an issue, I can pray with you, I can believe with you, but if you just come at me with a smart mouth or nasty attitude, I’m not going to be praying for your healing, I’m going to be rebuking the hell right out of you! To those who would say I should be more ‘sensitive,’ no, I should not be more sensitive, the person who is in need should be more honest – and then the miscommunication goes away! I am not going to assume you need healing – I’m going to assume you need immediate deliverance for something else all together. I don’t believe being hurt gives you a personal right to be nasty and get away with it. I am one who is truly sorry that you have been hurt, but if we are in Christ, we are STILL to do the right thing, even if it wasn’t done to us – because we KNOW better. Being unhealed is not an excuse to be ungodly – and, at the same time, it is not an excuse to be disrespectful to the people of God. We STILL have to do things according to God’s plan and God’s ways, and that means that while we wait for healing, we believe and trust God.

It also means that we need to step back and stop personalizing the world. The personalization of our culture exists because people get rewarded for being unhealed. People who don’t want to get healed don’t want to be healed because it means they have to give something up in order to gain the life of Christ within them. We give people license to do what they want and they will do, say, behave any way they want. They don’t realize this is not God working within them, but the enemy. Healing means that we step up and accept responsibility for something important in our lives: ourselves. It means we look over things and we see what we could have done differently, better, and where we need to be accountable in our lives. No, we can’t control what others did to us, but we can turn ourselves over to the Father and take control of our circumstances by surrendering it all to Him.

If you have a pain, a hurt, a situation in your life, you better believe I will be the first one there to pray, to believe, to lay hands, to restore. If you come at me with a bad attitude, you better believe I’ll be the first one there to rebuke that spirit – because it is a spirit. I’ll be there to restore order in the wake of improper conduct and disorder. What you choose to receive is your choice – it’s time to end this pattern of miscommunication. Stop being a burden, stop taking things so personally, stop expecting everyone to make up for what somebody else did, stop controlling people through your hurts…and GET HEALED. Move on to purpose in JESUS’ NAME…It is so much better than being stuck. We all have problems, issues, areas of question, and different things, but that gives none of us the right to take that out on other people. I pray likewise that the church will start communicating an effective message about healing rather than keep perpetrating cycles of hurt. Every one of us needs to check ourselves, examine what we are doing, and take responsibility for what we do to others that is wrong as part of our healing process. To the church, to people, to every one and every thing affected by hurt…come and get healed…and MOVE ON!

(c) 2012 Lee Ann B. Marino. All rights reserved.

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